Missing Bigfoot

Apparently I missed coming across Bigfoot when I made a recent trip through central Pennsylvania. Drat!

Growing old--ungracefully

When I was a middle aged woman, I thought—briefly—about what my life would be like when I finally entered my senior years, and I was thoroughly convinced I would grow old gracefully. But “graceful” is not a word I’d use to describe myself in my 60s...

That's how my new article at The Feminine Hivemind begins. If you want to read the sorry details, pop on over to TFH. 

If you haven't discovered TFH yet: "The Hivemind is a place for secular feminists to write about and discuss the topics that are important to us without having to fight to be heard."

Young boy tricks woman so he can peep down her shirt. Hilarious comic.

Isn't this One Big Happy comic strip published on June 30, 2013, simply adorable and oh so very funny?

Joe, an eight-year-old boy, is moping at a cookout--until he spies an attractive young woman. That makes him happy. He then unties his shoelace and asks the young woman to help him retie it--all so he can peep down her shirt. Looking at the woman's breasts makes Joe much much happier. Look at his grin.

And then other small boys follow his example and line up with their shoes untied so they can also take a peek at the young woman's breasts.

In the final panel, the young woman is perhaps beginning to suspect that she's been used. But who cares how she feels if the boys are happy?

Having a young boy trick a young woman so he can ogle her breasts is nothing short of hilarious, no? Just the sort of behavior our culture finds so amusing. "Boys will be boys. And boys will try just about any trick to look at a woman's boobs anyway they can. That's not wrong. That's just nature. And it's funny. Ha-ha." Not the least bit creepy or repulsive.

And that's just the beginning. Just wait until Joe and the other boys grow up and continue their breast peeking as men. The sneaky tricks they won't try then.

But, hey, if the woman hadn't been wearing such a slutty shirt, Joe probably wouldn't have been tempted to deceive her. If a young woman dresses like a slut, she should be expect to be treated like one, right?

This is why women need to wear burkas: to keep boys and men from being tempted into behaving badly.

How same-sex marriages harmed mine

Living with the uncertainty of the survival of my marriage over the last 10 years has been a bit stressful, let me tell you.

When I married over 40 years ago, no one probably thought that marriage between people of the same sex would ever be a possibility, so I didn't even consider it a potential threat to my marriage. We vowed, "for better or worse" and "for richer or for poorer" and "in sickness and in health," but we didn't promise "when women can marry men and men can marry women, as well as when women can marry women and men can marry men." Who would have predicted that that additional vow might have been necessary?

But then, about a decade ago, Massachusetts started considering legalizing same-sex marriage, and the warnings began: "Same-sex marriage will destroy traditional marriage!" "Fewer people will marry!" "There will be more divorces!" "Marriages will be strained because heterosexual couples will be confused by same-sex couples."

Despite the dire predictions, Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage. And although I watched to see what effect that decision would have on my marriage, I really didn't notice any. But I didn't live in Massachusetts, and it was about a 7 1/2 hour drive between my home in Maryland and Massachusetts, so maybe distance was a protective factor.

But then, laws permitting same sex marriage started creeping closer: Connecticut in 2008 and Washington, D.C. in 2009. Eek! D.C.! Right next door! And we have an unguarded border between Maryland and D.C.!  Again came the warnings about how same-sex marriages will harm non-same-sex marriages. What awfulness would happen to my marriage? Nothing, as much as I could tell.

More states began allowing same-sex marriages and eventually, in 2012, Maryland joined them, passing a law legalizing same-sex marriages; however, that law was petitioned to referendum. "Vote against the right of gays to marry!" voters were warned. "Save your marriage! Save your children's marriage! Save Maryland marriages and marriages everywhere from this pernicious law."

I heard that my own marriage will loose its "specialness." I wasn't sure what that meant, but if my marriage was special, wasn't everyone's in its own way?

I also heard that same-sex marriage would cut into the rights given to non-same-sex married couples. Really? Did some people think that marriage is like a pizza, and as more people come to the pizza party, each of us gets a smaller and smaller piece to enjoy?!

"But same-sex marriage will lessen the value of traditional marriage!" Ah, so, traditional marriage isn't a pizza as much as a yearned-for toy like a Tickle Me Elmo or a Furby that is on many, many wish-lists but, at first, the supply can't meet the demand, so those who have access to them can sell them for lots of money on eBay or craigslist, but after a while, as more are made and distributed, the toy for which you paid over $300 plus shipping at the beginning of December has plummeted in price and is now available for $19.99 plus tax at every local store that sells toys?

Despite all those obviously well-supported anti-same-sex marriage arguments (Yes, that is snark. Imagine that.) I decided, "Well, I haven't seen anything awful happening to my marriage as a result of same-sex marriage elsewhere, so why not take a chance and give same-sex couples the right to marry in Maryland?" A majority of other Maryland voters joined me in voting in favor of same-sex marriage, and on January 1 of this year, same-sex couples began marrying in Maryland.

Then I watched and waited and gauged how all these new same-sex marriages in my own state had affected mine. And the only noticeable effect seems to be my renewed appreciation of the sometimes forgotten joys and benefits that marriage bestows. And I was reminded again and again as I saw photos of happy newlyweds--woman and man, woman and woman, man and man--that love is love.

Still, when the Supreme Court decisions in the Proposition 8 and DOMA cases were issued this week, concerns about the harm to "traditional" marriages again arose. And I'll keep monitoring the resulting harm to my own marriage. But I'm going to bet that the number of ultimate harmful effects will continue as it has been: none.

But, oh my stars! Now I have an even more serious new disaster created by same-sex marriages to worry about: the end of civilization. I never did prepare for the end of civilization before Y2K, and look at what happened to civilization then! But considering how much damage same-sex marriage has done in the U.S. and elsewhere so far, I'm going to have to think about what I need to do to now. Other than support marriage equality everywhere that is.

Guns: God's great gift

When last I wrote about the Carroll County Maryland Board of Commissioners, mere weeks ago, they were explaining why it was perfectly OK for them to pray to their God for divine guidance before public board meetings.

And God, in his wisdom, apparently guided the board to a...um...special understanding of the Maryland State Firearms Act of 2013 (MSFA) as well as Maryland's previous gun laws, and to unanimously declare that the county is a "Second Amendment Sanctuary County."

The board's "Second Amendment Preservation" resolution declares the MSFA to be "pretended," AKA "unconstitutional," and further basically declares that the county will not act to enforce that law.

The board also declares "null and void within Carroll County, elements of any international treaties" that infringe on the right of citizens to own any and all guns and ammunition they want, without restriction.

And they support the creation of "a video documentary discussing Second Amendment concepts, and potential remedies available to citizens when confronted with unconstitutional infringements upon their liberties; case studies to include examples such as the Rosa Parks incident."

[Yes! We need to reflect upon the "incident" during which Rosa Parks was asked to move to a seat in the back of a bus, but she decided to stand her ground and showed the driver and other passengers that she was carrying. "See this gun which I have a Constitutional and God-given right to carry? Don't you dare tell me where to sit!" Rosa snarled, confident that her gun made her point for her.]

In the resolution's preamble, the commissioners point out that the right to own guns is granted by God, and that the Second Amendment merely confirms that right.

A few of you may be wondering, "How do the commissioners know that God gave us the unrestricted right to own guns and ammo?" Do you doubt that gun ownership is a right given by God? Don't be silly. The Bible, which God dictated to its writers--and also guided its many, many editors--offers a number of examples of God granting gun rights and approving of their use. Here is just a small sampling:

Even the non-religious may be familiar with God's 10 Commandments, including this one:

Thou shalt not kill, although thou shalt have a gun to kill if thou shalt decide to kill. (Exodus 20:13, NRA Version)

From the very beginning, God was in favor of unrestricted gun ownership:

God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And for this purpose I have given you every weapon without restriction. And you shall use the weapons I have given you to exercise your dominion over every living thing. And God saw it was good. (Genesis 1:26)

So he drove out the man [Adam]; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. But in his mercy, he let the man keep his weapon, which the man called gun. (Genesis 3:24)

The Bible also illustrates the danger of not owning a gun:

And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. For although God blessed all men with the right to possess a gun, Abel did not possess a gun, and so could not stop Cain his brother from slaying him. (Genesis 4:8)

And the advantages of using one:
 

And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a AK-47 with a 30-round clip, and shot it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that 30 bullets sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth.
So David prevailed over the Philistine with a gun and with bullets, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; there was no need for a sword in the hand of David. (1 Samuel 17:49-50)

But it's not just the Old Testament that confirms God's desire that all have the right to own the weapon of their choice.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment. Yet my Father has given you guns, for if you are not to be killed, thou must kill first. (Matthew 5:21)

It is perhaps important to note that the divine rights granted by God, despite some belief to the contrary, are not just for Americans or for Christians, but for everyone. So every gun for everyone! That can't turn out badly if that's what God wants, right?

Hey, it's not the fault of the Carroll County Commissioners that they're all Christians and prefer to pray to Jesus

Two Carroll County Maryland residents are suing the county's Board of Commissioners for regularly opening its public meetings with Christian prayers invoking "Jesus" and "the Savior."

The two residents, who say that the five commissioners opened their official meetings with Christian prayers at least 54 times in the last two years, and during that time never prayed to non-Christian deities, have asked a federal judge to end the sectarian prayers by ruling they are unconstitutional under the First Amendment.

However, board members, who take turns offering the pre-meeting prayer, have a really good reason for only praying to Jesus--they're all Christians.

According to The Baltimore Sun, board president Doug Howard explained, "It is simply that commissioner's individual thoughts. I am totally comfortable with what we are doing."

See? It's not the commissioners' fault that they all believe in Jesus and are comfortable with their Christian-only prayers.

I mean, do you expect them to pray to a god they don't believe in? Or some generic "god" or "creator" who either Jesus or those at the meetings might mistake for *gasp* a non-Christian god?!

It's also not the commissioners' fault if some of their constituents are not Christians and uncomfortable with Christian prayers or feel excluded and/or demeaned when only Christian prayers are offered.

The commissioners did not explain in The Sun's article why it's important for them to pray aloud to Jesus at their public meetings rather than silently, or perhaps pray among themselves before opening the meetings to the public.

Maybe Jesus is more impressed, and thus more likely to bless the board's work, its members, and the county, if the commissioners pray out loud at their public meetings, where everyone--in addition to Jesus--can see and hear them pray.

And starting the board meetings without any prayers is apparently not an option because...the commissioners want to pray, so, by golly, they're gonna?

Or they need to pray, because Jesus will be sad or angry if no one prays to him before the meeting?

What do a "testosterone booster" and "The Daily Bible Guide" have in common?

The answer: spam promoting both "The Natural Testosterone Booster From Force Factor" and "Get inspiration from the Bible with one click" via The Daily Bible Guide arrived in my email this morning.

Both promote products that promise to help you, but may really mess you up. Both so not something I'd want or use. Both sent by some #&%*@)*&$&%!! spammer who doesn't care if I want to get email from them or not.

My spam detector pounced right on them and straight into the trash they went.