Saturday, June 6, 2009

Demented Driver

Hey, Demented Driver:

All four lanes of the Baltimore Beltway were moving at an average 20 MPH, because--yikes!--it was raining!!

No lane was consistently faster than the others. Sometimes, one would speed up to all of 22 or 23 MPH, but only for a few seconds; then that lane would slow down again, and another lane would become the faster 22 or 23 MPH lane for a few seconds.

Yet, as soon as you entered the road, you decided that you needed to weave in and out of all four lanes, squeezing between cars and trucks with a car's-length of space between them.

So, where were you going and why?

What caused you to weave between vehicles, many of which were already too close to each other given the weather and road conditions?

What caused you to risk not only your life but the lives of other drivers to save a few minutes of your trip?

Where you perhaps:
  1. About to give birth, and were rushing to the hospital?
  2. Accompanied by pet pig with chronic diarrhea, and she really, really, needed to go, like, "right now"?
  3. Required to speed, since an insane extortionist had planted a bomb in your car which would have exploded if you traveled at less than 23 MPH?
  4. Demented--and an idiot?