A passion for Passion Week

When someone mentions Passion Week, this isn't an image that's ever popped into my mind before--but probably will from now on. Which actually is a nice improvement over my previous mental images of a man being tortured to death. 

Published in The Baltimore Sun, Friday, March 22, 2013

Harvey Fishing Seafood job offer is NOT a scam

I received what sounds like a wonderful job opportunity via email:

We are offering a job position in our company. Harvey Fishing Seafood is employing individuals to work for the company as a Sales Representative/Payment processing Agent. You don't need to have an Office and this certainly won't disturb any form of work, you have at the moment.

Salary: No basic salary, lucrative commissions structures. Average income range between $3000 - $5000 pm.

Experience: None Required- We will guide you through.

Age Requirements: From 25yrs and Above

Schedule: 5+ hours/week. You choose your hours.

Visit our application centre on http://www.[I'm not going to give out the website address so you don't steal this most excellent job opportunity from me. I'm not a fool.].com if Interested to Apply.

Admission is free of charge.

I don't know anything about "Harvey Fishing Seafood." But I'm guessing it has something to do with "fishing," "seafood," and perhaps someone named "Harvey." But I could be wrong.

I know next to nothing about fishing except the last time I did it I was still in grade school, and my father took me out in his motorboat, and I caught a fish, but as it flopped around in the bottom of the boat, gasping for air, I started crying about the "poor fish." And my father was so upset with my lack of appropriate excitement at seeing an animal die in front of me, he threw the fish back in the lake and vowed never to take me fishing again. And he never did, and I never fished with anyone else.

All I know about seafood is that some of it is delicious, even though I prefer not to watch my seafood die before I eat it. 

And the only Harveys I can think of at the moment are Harvey Milk and Elwood P. Dowd's tall, invisible rabbit buddy.

And, yeah, the email's capitalization is a bit...shall we say, "random." 

But I've got to assume that the Harvey Fishing Seafood knows what a great employee I'd be since, even though I haven't yet applied, they're offering me a job with great pay (especially if "pm" means "per month" (or better still, "per minute") and not "per millennium," especially when HFS expects as little as 5 hours a week; I don't have to give up my current job; and I don't have to pay admission!

Now I know what you're thinking. This sounds too good to be true; it's probably a scam. Yeah, I thought so too, until I got to the bottom of the email:

Scam Warnings!!! : Do not pay for a job, Your job has to pay you, BEWARE of Scams.

In Trust and Good Faith,
Mr. Thomas Lashan
Recruiting Department

See? Mr. Thomas Lashan is concerned that I might be taken in by scams. Hence, "Scam Warnings!!!:"

A scammer surely wouldn't write that, right? Especially one who closes the email with "In Trust and Good Faith." How could he not be honest and sincere?

I'm sure I'll be representing and processing the heck out of the fishing and seafood business in the near future from my non-Office. And raking in all my commissions, especially since I might put in, not 5, but as much as 6 or 7 hours a week. That might mean less time for blogging and commenting on other bloggers' blogs, but how can I pass this opportunity up?