Sunday, July 11, 2010

Facebook Follies: A Church for Farmville

Not content to build their useless, non-tax-paying houses of worship in just about every town in the U.S., believers in the magical, invisible sky guy are now banding together to ask for a church for Farmville, the extraordinarily popular Facebook game in which virtual farmers tend virtual farms.
Farmville! Perhaps ruined by the pathological pest of a silly belief in the supernatural. Is nothing sacred?!

"Oh, look God and neighbors! I'm such a good believer, that I even have a virtual church on my virtual farm for my virtual farmer to virtually worship a virtual God. Isn't that wonderfully admirable and worth extra points on my frequent worshiper card?"

Two of my Facebook friends (so far) have recommended the "ask Farmville for a church for your farm!" page to me, asking me to "like" it.

I do not, could not, like it for my farm,
I would not, could not, want it near my barn,
I would not like it with my sheep-y,
I do so think the idea's creepy,
A place to worship a magic, made-up guy,
Would stink much more than my pig sty,
I do not want a church,
No way, no how,
To think I would,
Well, Holy cow!

The only way I'd support a Farmville church if it is designed to immediately be declared abandoned, and then, allow Farmville farmers to convert (no pun intended, although I like it) the empty building to a more sensible, useful purpose. Perhaps a nature center, a science lab, a childcare center, or a shelter for the lost animals who are always wandering onto farms. I can think of dozens of acceptable uses for a church on Farmville, but adoring an invisible, magical sky guy isn't one of them.

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