Saturday, June 5, 2010

A woo-der-full weekend

I'm afraid I missed the Friday, June 4, beginning of the 6th Annual Reiki & Wellness Retreat in Reisterstown, Md., which looks like a woo-der-full weekend. I also missed retreats 1 through 5, and actually, will miss the rest of number 6, which continues through Sunday.

And just look what I'm missing! 

There's a workshop: "The Art of Prophecy: Courage, Imagination, and Humility: An Experiential Workshop in Intuition."

Indeed, I'm sure that believing that one has the gift of prophecy involves a lot of imagination. And humility. "Yeah, I know the future. I'm divinely inspired. But, shucks, I'm very humble about having that as my superpower."

In addition to that workshop, there's a veritable cornucopia of woo offered. There's "Introduction to Animal Communication"; "Casting Your Slice of LIfe: An Interpretive Card Reading Experience"; yoga; Qigong; "Find Your Inner Voice & Connect with Your Inner Rhythm" by The Sound of Healing; and--if those weren't enough--a "Grand Circle of Healing!" Woo-hoo!!

But the woo doesn't stop there! If you're fortunate, you may be able to schedule a "fabulous one of a kind healing session," and/or the readings offered by at least two women.

And, of course, what would a woo weekend be without woo merchandise so you can take some woo home with you? 

You can buy "smudge spray" which will allow you to clear away negative energy--without burning sage. Imagine! Plus energy healing bracelets, energy healing charging coasters, and energy infused mats and squares. Why after this weekend, you'll have energy to spare!

And that's not all!! You can buy "Solid Grounding oils," which, as best I can determine, are used in aromatherapy; phone stones, which will keep your cell phone from frying your brain. The secret is in the coating. "It's infused." Just stick one on your cell phone--they're adhesive!--and you're protected the natural way; pet charms; and more!

Of course, no woo weekend worth its weight in wooziness would be complete without crystals. So, naturally (word play intentional), they'll be on sale too. And not just crystals! You can also buy a variety of "crystal infused" products including Crystal Sage "crystal infused essentials" such as Cord Cutter, "specially formulated to help prevent and remove negative attachments from people, past events and material possessions." Who doesn't need a product like that?! Everyone has emotional baggage he/she needs to jettison. So yeah, an essential (heh, more word play) product.

Also available from Crystal Sage is Psychic Traveler which "may assist in all types of psychic work...[and] works great with all types of healing therapies such as Reiki, self hypnosis, and astral travel. It may cause a quicker and clearer connection with spiritual guides." Sounds perfect for just about anyone,"(f)rom people who are having trouble learning how to meditate to the experienced psychic." But be careful! "Psychic Traveler is to be used only when attempting a meditative state, pyschic (sic) work or healing therapies and not for casual use." But if you'd like to make your astral travel a smoother flight, I'm sure it's worth the risk.

And all this woofulness for only $450, double occupancy! $225 if you commute. Woo merchandise is extra, but worth it, I'm sure.

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